Being “Social” and getting into a conversation is quite simple. Turning this conversation into a long term relationship requires a bit more time and care.
I’m sure we all have gotten into some great conversations with people on twitter, facebook, skype, and the te chat rooms, to only have it degrade to the person is only talking about their stuff. They turn into the “expert” and claim anyone differing with them is just plain mistaken 🙂
Come on you know what I’m talking about, we all have seen or been on the receiving end of this.
Finding those that are truly looking for a valuable exchange of ideas and a real conversation have one innate ability that is easy to spot. They actually will stop talking and let the other person speak. And will also delve further into the conversation by asking questions to the other person.
So let’s turn this on it’s head. If your wanting to be seen as a person who is open to many views, looking to have meaningful exchanges, and perhaps learn something than developing the ability to listen is of primary importance. There is a certain bit of bravado built into the type of business we do, but that’s the challenge is to keep that in check. A fine balancing act for some 🙂
I mean I could point you to so many people that have huge “lists” or a ton of followers on said social networking site, but don’t engage them. And they most certainly listen or respond to what these people are trying to convey to them. Now this doesn’t mean you have to get into a long drawn out exchange with everyone you have contact with. It’s easy to filter alot of the people who are wasting your time with crap. Just by what they are saying, or the manner in which they are doing it. Now if they pass the first test, the second easy test is wait for their response. If it doesn’t come there way too “smart” to take time to communicate with us lesser beings, or it’s just automated crap.
So once you have started a meaningful exchange, take a bit of time before you throw your stuff in their face. Now this even includes your opinion. Give them some time to “sell” ya on what their bringing to your attention. Perhaps what they are saying does have value, or you may even discover you alot of things in common. Once they are done, than you can start asking questions and do further follow up. And as you do this, you might even have to find a place to drop your stuff on them. Many will begin to probe you for your thoughts and become inquisitive about you naturally from this sort of conversation.
A easy example many guys can identify with is let the woman talk about herself before you try to dazzle them with your “greatness” And if your a guy and don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, I feel for ya brother 🙂
In the right situation the best way to get noticed, is to try not to be noticed. So many people online try the “Hey pay attention to me” approach. Reminds me of the people in school that were always trying to be the teacher’s pet, or the self appointed class clown. The pet was annoying, especially to the teacher, and the comedian was never as funny as they themselves thought they were.
Believe me I know it’s hard, especially in this medium. But just breathe and let the other person talk a bit, it might surprise you on the results you see from doing this.
I’ll just end on a few thoughts.
Beware the quiet one’s
“And ’tis remarkable that they talk most who have the least to say”
And on that I’ll listen, and see what you have to say.